Overview
This is the most difficult kind of conflict to resolve. It is a forced-choice between two approach-avoidance conflicts. You must choose between options, each of which has advantages and disadvantages.
Examples
- Staying home for Thanksgiving and feeling all alone versus going to Thanksgiving with your family and feeling like a loser.
- Working but feeling guilty for not being with your kids versus being with your kids but not making any money
- Saving the company but laying off people versus keeping people but going bankrupt
- Buying exactly what you want but having to wait for it or getting “pretty good” now
- Choice between cheap gas far away and expensive gas close
Transcript
The fifth type of conflict is two approach avoidance conflicts. It’s food and shock and food and shock. With our rats, it is a straight maze with food and shock at one end and food and shock at the other end. The rat is put in the middle of the maze.
The rat starts toward one, sees the cheese, starts running toward it: cheese, cheese, cheese! Rats don’t actually think but if they could talk; if they were humans, this is what we would say. They get closer and closer to it, and then they slow down, and they slow down and then they stop, never quite getting to the food or the cheese. And they turn around and see the cheese at the other end and they begin running toward it. The closer they get, the slower they go, and then finally stop, turn around and run the other way
They spend all their time running back and forth in the maze, never getting the food because they’re avoiding the shock.
This is a double approach-avoidance conflict. This is a choice between two things with advantages and disadvantages to each. You can spend a lot of time in this kind of conflict, never actually resolving it.
“I want this candidate. No, I don’t like them. I want this candidate. No. I don’t like them. I want this person.”
“I want to date this person. No, I don’t like them. I want this person no I don’t like them.”
You can spend a lot of time going back and forth never resolving this conflict.
Audio
Infographic
