“I should…”
Psychologist Albert Ellis says we would be a lot better off if we spent less time thinking about what others think of us. We’d be better of we just lived our own lives.
Sometimes we constrain ourselves. We stop us from doing our best. We box ourselves in with rules.
Let’s get right into it. Here is chapter 8 of Five Life-Changing Ideas.
Psychoanalyst Karen Horney calls it the “Tyranny of Should.”
We have this tendency to find a rule and live by it.
The upside is that rules give structure to our lives.
The downside is that we sometimes follow other people’s rules blindly.
Explore your system of shoulds. Take a good look at the pressures you’re putting on yourself from others and from yourself.
What’s the biggest should you have in your life?
What shoulds have other people been putting on your life?
What shoulds have you been hitting others with?
If you were going to be nice to yourself, what shoulds would you give up?
Summary
What conclusions do you make if you combine your thoughts on happiness and shoulds?
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1: From Events To Constructs
- Chapter 2: Current Thoughts
- Chapter 3: Revisit Your Childhood
- Chapter 4: Mine Your Rolodex
- Chapter 5: People You Don’t Know
- Chapter 6: “I want…”
- Chapter 7: Happiness
- Chapter 8: “I should..”
- Chapter 9: Amplification
- Chapter 10: Adjectives
- Chapter 11: Behaviors
- Chapter 12: END Cards
- Chapter 13: Reduction
- Chapter 14: Prioritize
- Chapter 15: The Value of Ideas