Let what you do define you. Others will try to define you in terms of who you know, who are married to, or who you work for. Personality theorists will try to define you by traits, moods, or dimensions. It will sound very scientific, very scholarly. Don’t let them do it.
And don’t do it to yourself. Don’t be the author of your own distress. Albert Ellis says that people construct their own depression and misery. We worry too much about what others think or bad things which might happen. We are run by the shoulds of others.
But you are more changeable than a trait, more complicated than a dimension. Don’t let anyone stuff you into a box.
The actor Isaiah Mustafa, from the sexy Old Spice commercials, is often judged by his looks. He says of his daughter:
I hope that my daughter grows up empowered and doesn’t define herself by the way she looks but by qualities that make her an intelligent, strong and responsible woman.
Take the offensive: Do!
- Do good. Do fun. Do exciting. Do challenging. Do thoughtful. Do kind. Do brave.